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Sep. 6th, 2003 01:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zana16Tired. Tipsy. Phone works. Trivial Pursuit was played. Le Divorce was watched--I was the only one in the theatre who got the unsubtitled jokes, and was laughing alone. Michelle's car was driven. We got carded at the liquor store--it was hilarious, Abby still looks twelve but they figured a twelve-year-old wouldn't have a Smith card declaring her a senior as well as an Oregon drivers license that says she's the oldest of us three. Discovered evil denizens have not brought back the microwave. We went down to the dining room to try the microwave down there but after five minutes the popcorn bag was not even warm but the insides of the machine were giving off a nasty smell of melting plastic.
Got into the History of Math class. Now just working on the independent study. Igh.
Random kindness of complete strangers restores my hope in humanity. It also proves that tears still work for something, tho I'm supposed to be an adult. More later.
Want to kill those who hurt the people I love. Will consider the question when not so tired and sleepy. ie when I'm back to being rationalobjectivegirl.
Told Michelle we needed to go to Rocky Horror if they have it in the Valley. Said we could crossdress. I offered to dress up as a girl. She told me I was a girl. For some reason, that weirded me out. I'm totally not comfortable with gender identifications now. I mean, sure, I've got the requisite parts. I just don't feel like a girl. I don't even really know what a girl is. I'm pretty comfortable with my idea of what a guy is... I guess this is what de Beauvoir was talking about. All of Western education teaches us about what it is to be a man, but a woman is never defined, explained, except in stereotypes and then when the "feminists" like Marion Zimmer Bradley came along they became defined as anti-stereotypes but they're always just characters, not people. I guess that's why I love most of the philosophy behind paganism, but I just don't get the male-female duality. Perhaps it's cause I was raised by just my dad, but I don't see much of a difference between the two. My body doesn't make a whole lot of sense these days since I don't like this whole gender or biological sex thing. But then, it could just be that I'm really really sleepy. Holy shit. Look at the time. Must brush teeth. And sleep. Sleep is good.
Got into the History of Math class. Now just working on the independent study. Igh.
Random kindness of complete strangers restores my hope in humanity. It also proves that tears still work for something, tho I'm supposed to be an adult. More later.
Want to kill those who hurt the people I love. Will consider the question when not so tired and sleepy. ie when I'm back to being rationalobjectivegirl.
Told Michelle we needed to go to Rocky Horror if they have it in the Valley. Said we could crossdress. I offered to dress up as a girl. She told me I was a girl. For some reason, that weirded me out. I'm totally not comfortable with gender identifications now. I mean, sure, I've got the requisite parts. I just don't feel like a girl. I don't even really know what a girl is. I'm pretty comfortable with my idea of what a guy is... I guess this is what de Beauvoir was talking about. All of Western education teaches us about what it is to be a man, but a woman is never defined, explained, except in stereotypes and then when the "feminists" like Marion Zimmer Bradley came along they became defined as anti-stereotypes but they're always just characters, not people. I guess that's why I love most of the philosophy behind paganism, but I just don't get the male-female duality. Perhaps it's cause I was raised by just my dad, but I don't see much of a difference between the two. My body doesn't make a whole lot of sense these days since I don't like this whole gender or biological sex thing. But then, it could just be that I'm really really sleepy. Holy shit. Look at the time. Must brush teeth. And sleep. Sleep is good.