All in all, it was actually a nice birthday. Except for those eight hours at work.

[zana16]

One of my coworkers' idea of an appropriate birthday wish was to announce in a staff meeting yesterday that I'd been looking "extra sexy" lately and he could tell I'd "been working out." And then to go on AT LENGTH.

*facepalm*

Thank GOD Tuesday is my last day.

He really thought it was a compliment. Really didn't understand why I said "This is making me uncomfortable" and left the meeting when he wouldn't shut up.

My boss and I had one last fight* (at least, I hope it's our last) just for tradition's sake, and she told me I was a scummy human being and that "what I had done told her all about my spirit that she needed to know." So, apparently, bridges burnt? I'm not entirely sure what it was I did that set her off this time. She did apologize, which was a first, but I think it may be because the head of HR might have mentioned that I have an exit interview coming up.

Moral dilemma:
It would be best for the company for me to say all I know, and get my boss fired. It would be bad for my soul to do so, because it would be reacting out of hurt and anger and my motivation would be revenge, not business. What to do?

Otherwise, it was a lovely birthday. Thank you for the good wishes!


* for a definition of "fight" that includes her yelling and me letting my eyes glaze over and nodding at the appropriate times

Comments

[twistedchick]

Can you tell the truth about how you were treated by her, without letting the emotions get in the way?

[zana16]

I honestly don't know if I could. My therapist suggested writing down calm, professional answers and then sticking only to those, which I might do.

[the_shoshanna]

I think you should take into account not just what would be "best for the company," an abstract entity, but also what would be best for other people who work with, under, and around this boss and may also be abused by her. And if that sounds like I'm voting for telling the complete truth in the exit interview -- well, yes. Do it from a better place than revenge if you can. (It's good for your soul to protect people.)

Belated happy birthday!

[cofax7]

Hah, crosspost!

[the_shoshanna]

We're just that awesome. *g* And writing her thoughts out is a very good idea!

[zana16]

Whenever I rehearse it in my head, it devolves into me reacting to the personal hurt, not the professional misconduct. I still have a few days to rehearse, though, so maybe it will work. And protecting people is good! I'm all for protecting people.

[cofax7]

Complete driveby via DWnetwork, but if your boss fucked up and it's something not specific to you, but something that might happen again to other employees? You should tell HR, so she can be counselled, or at least so the next time someone complains about her there's a record documenting that it's not the first time. Otherwise nothing will change.

Think of it as looking out for your successors.

If you're too uncomfortable talking about it, you could write it out, which gives you the opportunity to remove your emotional responses and just give HR the facts as you know them. I have done this in the past. Don't know if it helped, but it sure helped me to get it all down.

And happy belated birthday.

[zana16]

Oh, good idea writing it out! That way I can remove all the personal frustration and make it be about the company.

She wouldn't be counselled; it's more like it might be the straw that gets her fired. And I'd feel guilty for that, even though I have always known that she needs to go. Cause yes, it has and will happen again to other employees...

Thank you for birthday wishes!