The multiple layers of being

[zana16]

To waste time, I have filled out one of those silly surveys. It is long and mostly gacked from ambermoon and rhiannondance. All details and nothing about my inner soul.
LAYER ONE
-- Name: Janaki Rhiannon Spickard-Keeler
-- Nicknames: Zana, JK, JR, Jankiki, Butterfly
-- Birthdate: December 16th, 1981
-- Birthplace: 414 Rose Avenue, Aromas, CA. Yes, at home.
-- Current Location: Paris, France
-- Eye Color: Blue
-- Hair Color: Dark Blondish
-- Natural Hair Color: See above. The ends are still dyed auburn, tho
-- Height: 5'9"
-- Righty or Lefty: Right-handed
-- Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius
--Favorite--
Number: Er. Seven? Sixteen? Seventeen? Don't actually give a shit about numbers.
Color: blue. or green. or silver. have you noticed I'm not very decisive?
Place: The forest, the coast.
State: West coast, Vermont, California, Colorado
Country: I don't choose. I love Italy, France, Spain, Switzerland, and the rest of Europe.
Book: In the Hand of the Goddess by Tamora Pierce. Ender's Game a close second.
Game: Spider Solitaire and Trivial Pursuit
Drug: pot, but I don't do it anymore. Really.
Condom: lubed; that is all I ask
Movie: oh man. The Fellowship of the Rings, maybe.
Store: any nifty little place with pretty things
Person: too many!
Magazine: Discover
CD: too many to count
BoyBand/Singer: No thank you. Unless you count Grateful Dead and the Beatles as boybands
Internet activity: Reading fanfic, lately. And LJ, obviously

LAYER TWO
-- Your heritage: Norwegian, Irish, English, French, German, Plymothers, Missouri dirt farmers, Charles II (along with half of Christendom). According to the Mormons, I can be traced back to Odin. Yes, the god.
-- The shoes you wore today: Today, sneakers. Yesterday, my Docks.
-- Your weakness: ooh. not gonna go there.
-- Your fears: Failure. Isolation. People. No people. Meaninglessness. Depression. Boredom.
-- Your perfect pizza: thick crust, just a little sauce, much mozarella, black olives, tomatoes, mushrooms, onions. Artichoke hearts and green peppers don't detract.
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: Publish a book that doesn't suck. Find the person I'm meant to be with. Marry the person I'm meant to be with. Don't divorce the person I'm meant to be with. Have kids WPIMTBW. Be happy. Have friends. Travel the world. Find meaning.


LAYER THREE
-- Your most overused phrase on AIM: Don't use AIM. Never have.
-- Your thoughts first waking up: Today--Mmm, warm bed. Nice. Have to pee. Oh, yeah, today's a holiday. I can go back to sleep. Yay. Usually--Mmm, warm bed. Don't wanna get up. Oh shit I'm late.
-- Your best physical feature: Eyes, probably. I dunno.
-- Your bedtime: I aim for midnight.
-- Your most missed memory: talbot house sophomore year first semester. snuggling with sylvanstargazer. my daddy reading aloud to me.
---Do You---
Cut yourself: Did it once or twice back in the middleschool days.
Take meds you shouldn't: nope.
Pick your nose: euh. occassionally
Lick yourself: huh? no.
Whine a lot: I don't think so... every once in a while, probably.
Yell a lot: I never yell. I can't remember the last time I did. Oh, wait; it was when Smith financial aid screwed me over. It takes something to the tune of $30,000 to get me to yell. That or my dad.
Hate a lot of people: Can't say as I hate anyone. Dislike a lot, yes. I used to hate the guy who murdered my sister, but it was a waste of my mental energy. He's behind bars til death, where he belongs, and he's probably not having a good time there.
Have too many friends: You can never have too many friends!
Want to die: No. Definitely no.
Believe in life after death: Occassionally. Lean towards reincarnation.
Go to church: Yeah, sometimes. Quaker meeting.
Love school: Ummm, well, depends on the day. But mostly/
Have a bf/gf: not at the moment, and probably not for awhile. have trust issues
Have sex: not at the moment.
Smoke: no. used to. can't stand the smell. or the taste.
Do drugs: not anymore. I liked them too much.
Wear dark colors: about half the time.
Try to be different: I don't have to try
Have any piercings: two holes in my ears.
Break bones a lot: Collarbone--3 times
Watch porn: Smith had a showing of porn. I went to broaden my horizons. It didn't do anything for me, was mostly disgusting, and I have no interest in watching more. Reading porn, on the other hand, can occassionally be good.
Dye your hair: Occasionally. Not for awhile.

LAYER FOUR
-- Pepsi or Coke: No. I don't drink sodas anymore. Caffeine, either.
-- McDonald's or Burger King: I'm an off/on vegetarian. Worked in fastfood and never ate at a fastfood place again. But when I did, I preferred McDonalds.
-- Single or group dates: Yes.
-- Adidas or Nike: Like I could afford sneakers. Mine are falling apart and I don't remember the brand.
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I don't like ice tea.
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate. Of course. Except when it's icecream.
-- Cappuccino or coffee: No coffee. No caffeine. Except coffee icecream, which is good with fudge sauce.

LAYER FIVE
---Have you ever----
Kissed someone: Yes.
Had sex: Yes
Frenched someone: Of course
Given oral sex: Yes
Attempted suicide: No.
Killed someone: No. You think I would say so on LJ if I had?
Shopped for condoms: Yes.
Smoked: Yes
Worn rainbow: I've worn a pink triangle, if that's what you're asking.
Talked on the phone for over 3 hours: Who hasn't?
Left the country: Yes
Had a party with over 30 people: No. Like, not my own party.
Taken nude pictures: Yes. Not of me; of Melissa. On Brandon's bed. I still have them, for blackmail. ;)
Taped yourself having sex: Ick. No.
Stolen something: I have shoplifted three times. All items were under $10, and only at big companies who had ripped me off in the past.
Ran away from home: No.
Burned yourself: No. Not physically, anyhow.
Caught something on fire: I don't think so... Think I'd remember that.
Wanted to cheat on someone: No.
Fell in love online: No.
Asked someone out: No. On dates, yes. But in general, asking someone to be my bf/gf, no.
Been dumped: Yes.
Dumped someone: Not exactly.
Had a dream then the next day it happens: usually it isn't the next day it happens, but yes
Called a porn hotline: No.
-- Cuss: Hells yes
-- Sing: yes
-- Take a shower everyday: Yes, mostly.
-- Have a crush(es): Yeah.
-- Do you think you've been in love: yes. but not Love with a capital L.
-- Want to go to college: I'm in college. I'd like to graduate.
-- Like high school: It had its good points. A very, very few.
-- Want to get married: In theory, yes.
-- Get motion sickness: Only once. Ever.
-- Think you're attractive: Not particularly.
-- Think you're a health freak: Nope.
-- Get along with your parents: I'm very close to my dad. My stepmom is nuts, I love her but we're not close and "getting along" wouldn't be the best description of our relationship.
-- Like thunderstorms: Yes. Oh God, yes. Couldn't live in a place that didn't have thunderstorms.
-- Play an instrument: Piano, clarinet. Want to get better at guitar.
-- Drink alcohol: Wine with dinner, champagne, etc. Not a lot. Never to get drunk, not anymore.
-- Done a drug: Pot. Never on US territory, tho. So you can't arrest me.
-- Gone on a date: Yes.
-- Gone to the mall: Yes.
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: No. Entire boxes of other stuff, but never Oreos.
-- Eaten sushi: Yes. I gave it a chance; it isn't my thing.
-- Been on stage: Yes.
-- Gone skating: Yes.
-- Made homemade cookies: Yes. Best part is eating the batter.
-- Gone skinny dipping: Sure. Been a while, tho.
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yes.
-- If so, was it mixed company: Duh. Why else would you?
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: On alcohol? No.
-- Been caught "doing something": My dad called me in the middle of sex once. The phone was in the other room and we thought it was the boss (we were at work) so the sex had to stop.
-- Been called a tease: No.
-- Gotten beaten up: Nope.
-- Changed who you were to fit in: Not really. Kept my mouth shut, sometimes.


LAYER SIX
-- Age you hope to be married: Older than I am now.
-- Numbers and Names of Children: No more than two, if I have any. Names will be unusual but not unpronouncable.
-- How do you want to die: Of old age in my sleep.
-- Where you want to go to college: Where I am.
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: I'm frighteningly close to being grown up. And I have no clue.
-- What country would you most like to visit: In the near future? England.
Cat/Dog: love 'em both
White/Black: see above
Hot/Cold: cold
Far/Near: eh? near, I guess
Water/Land: yup
Kiss/Sex: kissing is underrated. sex only if it's really good.
Online/Phone: phone
Beer/Book: book. definitely
Novel/Poetry: novel. I have read a limited number of poems that redeem poetry as an art form; I find most of the rest to be crap. Please note that I write poetry and think my poetry is crap, too. Poetry doesn't touch me like novels do. If it touches you, more power to you.
Music/Silence: both. though not at the same time. :)

LAYER SEVEN
--Last person...--
You Touched: Sally
You Talked to: Really talked? Caroline, my host mother, last night.
You Hugged: Sally
You Kissed: Hmm. Sarah, I think. Like, lip-kissing. Cheek-kissing, Ivy, I think
You Instant messaged: don't IM
You Yelled At: probably my dad, but maybe my President.
Who Broke Your Heart: Patrick.
In a guy/girl..
-- Best eye color?: Depends on the person.
-- Best hair color?: See above.
-- Short or long hair: Long, or longish. Usually
-- Height: Taller than I am, in a guy.
-- Best weight: Between any extremes.
-- Best articles of clothing: I'm fond of things that are black.
-- Best first date location: Dinner and a movie has always worked for me, clichéd tho it may be.
-- Best first kiss location: Someplace private, I suppose. Or on the dancefloor.

LAYER EIGHT
--Are You...--
Understanding: yes
Open-minded: yes
Arrogant: sometimes, I guess. side affect of being smart. I try not to.
Insecure: yup
Interesting: hope so
Hungry: every 3 hours or so.
Smart: yes
Moody: mmm... yeah
Childish: not often enough
Hard working: once I get my ass in gear.
Organized: depends on what. room, no. schedule, yes.
Healthy: overweight
Emotionally Stable: Generally speaking? Mostly, most of the time. This is a new thing in my life, so it's very nice.
Shy: oh yeah
Difficult: sometimes
Attractive: not particularly
Bored Easily: yes
Messy: To a certain extent. Then I get fed up and go on a cleaning binge
Thirsty: almost always
Responsible: yes. boringly so.
Obsessed: about what? fanfiction, yes. most other things, not so much.
Angry: sometimes. mostly with politicians, bureaucracy, and my dad.
Sad: not really. depressive, but rarely sad. there is a difference
Happy: sometimes
Trusting: overly so, but never in affairs of the heart
Ill: nope
Talkative: depends on with who
Legal: yes.
Original: I try
Ignored: sometimes
Reliable: yes
Deep thinker: yes
Self-disciplined: procrastinatrix
Sleepy: often
Lonely: yeah, sometimes.

LAYER EIGHT
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: Pot. Three or four times. Underage drinking.
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: Not entirely sure. My dad. My extended family, which includes all those who "adopted" me after my mother died, and they are numerous. The Quakers. Beth and Pasha. Probably Sonora.
-- Number of CDs that I own: Many, but never enough.
-- Number of piercings: Two pairs in each ear. Is this a repeat question?
-- Number of tattoos: None as of yet. This will change when I reach my goal weight. Which will be never. So no.
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: I've no idea. Probably a few times. Four that I can think of
-- Number of scars on my body: Many shaving scars before I discovered disposable razors are much safer than the old-fashioned suicidal ones. A gash on my leg that I don't know how I got; I woke up one morning and my calf wash all bloody. Stitches on my knee from when I was about two. Chickenpock scar on upper arm. Barely-visible scar from the first time I cut myself. Discolored skin from the time I fell off my bike. Cool scar on back of neck from surgery. I think that's all. Many more emotional scars, but that's just me.
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: Many, but not too many. And most of them were learning experiences that I wouldn't want to lose. Still, the thing with Josh II shouldn't have happened. And Laura and I shouldn't have stopped speaking.
--Who do you want to...--
Kill: no one. occassionally the President, but I am a pacifist, so no.
Slap: the asshole who stole my PalmPilot
Get really wasted with: Chris Kirkpatrick so I can have sex with him. This is the only situation in which I'd ever get wasted, and it'd be more so I could get over my nervousness at the he's-a-celebrity-and-has-probly-fucked-ten-thousand-girls-oh-shit-he's-so-hot-though
Tickle: anyone I'm close to
Look like: Me, but slimmer, more muscular, and with slightly different features. And pointy ears. And more red in my hair. And tan.
Be like: all the good qualities I see in my friends. And Caroline, my host mother.
Talk to: all those people I don't see often enough. cause they're across the ocean from me. *sniff*