(no subject)

[zana16]

You know how I said that part of the reason for taking this job was to face my fear of thirteen year old boys? Yeah, a whole three days into the semester, I'd faced that fear and was over it. When you are not a thirteen year old girl, thirteen year old boys show up on your radar as the immature jerks they tend to be, instead of the immature-jerk-oh-but-he's-so-cute-and-why-is-he-teasing-me-I-like-him.

Today has been tiring. Got a few Redemption scenes written, though--well, one and a half. Which may actually turn into a few more tonight. Yay! I was getting discouraged by my lack of progress. Even though it's no longer publishable, I want this one to get written.

Comments

[soraidh.livejournal.com]

I don't think I'm up on Redemption. Why is it not publishable?

[zana16.livejournal.com]

It's a little too much like fanfic, or experimental fiction, in that it pushes the envelope. I'm trying to write "real" literature, but my characters have their own sex lives that tie in directly to the plot, and they're put in "real life" situations of the kind that are rarely mentioned in literature. They explore sexuality as well as the other issues they explore (death and life and morality and guilt and God and redemption and all the rest of those "serious" literary explorations). And, well, it could probably be published as "gay and lesbian literature" but that's not what the story is about. It's an epic about people, and their sexuality is not ignored like it is in most literature, or toned down like it is in the rest of literature. I don't know whether or not it's any good (I never do, with my own stuff), but even if it were it wouldn't get published as mainstream literature, which is what I'm trying to write to. I should just give up on my audience and write for myself, probably. Which I think is what's going to happen. But having a specific audience was providing a structure that was kind of nice to work within.... Eh. I'm rambling. Anyways, there's your long-winded explanation. :)