(no subject)

[zana16]

Pasha made my week by telling me her mother thought we were involved. The entire world thinks I'm a lesbian! My sexshuality iz pastede on yay!

I finally went to see Troy. Now, I went in knowing I was going to be pissed off. And that it was going to suck. I was prepared for this. I was prepared for the willful disregard of canon--at least, I thought I was. It was about the time when Menelaus refers to Agamemnon as the elder brother that I started to go nuts. Did the scriptwriters even read the bloody canon? Why change such an insignificant detail? What's so hard about Menelaus being older than Agamemnon? This is not rocket science, people!

I might have enjoyed it more if I found either Brad Pitt or Orlando Bloom attractive. But I don't. *sigh* Eric Bana as Hector, though. He was the one redeeming feature, and he can actually act. Okay, so Sean Bean as mentor/father-figure was pretty good, too.

Does Peter O'Toole not blink? Ever? I found it rather distracting.

And the killing of Agamemnon? For that matter, the killing of Menelaus? Or Ajax, for God's sake?? Ajax is my favorite character but nooo, let's just kill him after giving him maybe three seconds of screentime, when really he outlives Achilles. By just enough to commit suicide, which is what makes him interesting.

And Troy falling in maybe three days? Yeah, right. Give Hector a little more credit than that. It took ten bloody years, people. The Iliad is in every bookstore; maybe when you're making a movie of the fall of Troy you should read the definitive cornerstone of the entire canon. It's not that hard, really. I read it freshman year in college.

You know what? There's a reason the Iliad ends before Achilles's death. Homer knew how to tell a story. The directors of Troy do not.

If you're still with me after that rant--and trust me, there's a million other things to rant about in regards to that movie--I have a canon question: what became of Paris? I completely don't remember. I know Helen went home with Menelaus and Agamemnon went home to be killed by a severely pissed off wife, and Odysseus spent nine years lying in the sun and fucking a witch before remembering that oh yeah, he had a wife and a kingdom to get back to. Actually, did any Trojans besides Aeneas escape?

Also, what was with the giant balls of twine? Who came up with this idea?

Comments

[sylvanstargazer.livejournal.com]

any resemblience to any war taking place at a city of the same name is purely coincidental. We are here for the battle scenes, and to oogle Hector (again, any resemblence to any hero, living or dead, of the same name is unintentional).

I can express my opinion of the movie in two words:

Nephew. Right...

[labmouse.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure that Paris was killed , with the rest of the Torjan Men after "Horse Surprise!"

[ipomoea.livejournal.com]

Paris was actually killed before the Horse. He was shot with an arrow by Philoctetes and carried to Mount Ida, where Oenone, the nymph he had abandoned for Helen, refused to save his life even though she had the power to do so. After he died, Oenone killed herself. The Trojan men were all killed except for Aeneas and his father, Anchises. Aphrodite, Aeneas' mother, helped them escape, and from there Aeneas traveled to Carthage and then went on to found Rome. The women of Troy were all taken slaves and their male children slaughtered.

The movie was pretty, I'll give it that. But boy, did it ever suck storywise.

[mayhap]

It is rather interesting to think that a text that has become the fixed cornerstone of the Western canon was once a story that was being told and retold and changed around with bits put in to keep the audience happy (presence of the Athenians in the catalogue of ships, anyone?).

Unfortunately, it is far more interesting than watching Petersen's film.

[bingblot.livejournal.com]

yeah, was a bit upset at the lack of the 10 years thing myself- although they never actually SAY that the days/nights they show are consecutive... but still, no way in hell was that 10 years.

Eric Bana as Hector was THE redeeming factor.
frankly, i was more annoyed at the whole briseis/achilles thing. um, achilles was just being the spoiled brat who wanted his toy back...

agreed about peter o'toole's disturbing lack of blinking.