(no subject)
Feb. 16th, 2004 12:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zana16Right. So. Am doing better today. Have buried the panic deep enough that it will probably be at least three months before it even dares to try coming out again.
Emily came over tonight, which was nice. I had to write my Teach for America application, though, since it was due at midnight. Am still 400 pages behind in reading, and not at all excited about Wordsworth's Prelude. Just. not. excited.
Finished reading A Year in Provence, which was lovely. Am currently reading a travel book about England. Wheee!!!
Maegan asked me why I can't have sex with friends, and I didn't know how to explain. I've figured out since she asked that it's because the notion of love has never been a clearly-delineated thing for me. Other people make the distinction between loving someone and being in love with someone, and for me it's a case by case thing. Some people, I very clearly love them but am not at all in love with them. Probably I'd be able to do casual sex with those people just fine, if we kept it honest. But many people the line is blurry enough that if complicated by sex I would get confused and thus hurt. So. That's why I had to turn her down last night.
I had a point to this update. I've just forgotten what it was.
Emily came over tonight, which was nice. I had to write my Teach for America application, though, since it was due at midnight. Am still 400 pages behind in reading, and not at all excited about Wordsworth's Prelude. Just. not. excited.
Finished reading A Year in Provence, which was lovely. Am currently reading a travel book about England. Wheee!!!
Maegan asked me why I can't have sex with friends, and I didn't know how to explain. I've figured out since she asked that it's because the notion of love has never been a clearly-delineated thing for me. Other people make the distinction between loving someone and being in love with someone, and for me it's a case by case thing. Some people, I very clearly love them but am not at all in love with them. Probably I'd be able to do casual sex with those people just fine, if we kept it honest. But many people the line is blurry enough that if complicated by sex I would get confused and thus hurt. So. That's why I had to turn her down last night.
I had a point to this update. I've just forgotten what it was.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-16 05:54 am (UTC)