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Feb. 6th, 2004 02:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zana16Today was... a learning experience. One of those days that you know you'll look back on in ten years and say, remember how every waking moment was spent learning something? And most of it was outside of class. It wasn't a good day, or a bad day, or even a particularly stressful day. It was just a day, a day in which I used my mind for almost every waking hour.
It started out with chimney sweepers, went on to musings on the nature of prostitution versus the nature of exploitation. At lunch we were talking about a situation in highschool where a girl was the only one who got an A in her class, and it was because she didn't say anything when the prof touch her butt every time she handed something in. A firstie said she must have been a bit of a slut, then. I honestly thought she was kidding. I didn't think that those words could come out of somebody's mouth at Smith, at least not anyone I take seriously and don't actively dislike. So, that conversation was interesting. Heather had to hold up most of it, since I knew if I opened my mouth I'd regret it. I remember when I was supposed to flirt with the customers at the restaurant, cause it got me more tips. Why does it bother me more when people do it for grades? I guess because grades aren't supposed to be about that, while waitressing is, whether we acknowledge it or not. Appearance matters so much in human interactions. I'm not sure whether it should or not. Certainly we can't expect an underage girl to necessarily be strong and stand up to her prof taking advantage of a power relation in an inappropriate way; we'd like her too, but you can't expect that of everybody. I kept quiet about my alcoholic boss saying extremely inappropriate things and trying to touch me, because there were no other jobs near my grandparents' house and we needed the money. It also just never occurred to me. I knew I would quit if he tried anything, but it wasn't like there was anyone readily available for me to go to, to take care of the situation in a productive way. He owned the restaurant. There was no higher authority. Anyways, I know I've bought into the whole if-you-dress-like-that-if-you-look-like-that-you're-asking-for-it crap. Rationally I know it's horseshit, but I know I believe it on some level. It's the reason I'm fat; I bought into the lie that I somehow "deserved" to be raped, and so I made myself the exact opposite of what is accepted as sexually attractive. I don't expect I'll be able to change my weight without changing my bodyimage first, and to do that I have to accept that I will not automatically be raped (and also, taken more seriously as a human being, and given more promotions as an attractive ie thin person, etc.) if I lose weight. Which is going to be hard, because there's some truth in the lie. Rape has been so eroticized in our society that blaming the victim is often seen as perfectly reasonable. The truth is, I was right; few people have been interested in me since I gained most of the weight. I've made myself unattractive to both the dangerous people and the people who I might otherwise have some sort of interaction with.
Whoa. I totally didn't mean to go off on that tangent. On to math.
We had an awesome speaker at the math department tea today; he writes math humor. It was absolutely brilliant. He did another lecture after dinner (I love the math department: not only do they give us tea and pizza, they even have veggie pizza) on knot theory, complete with costumes and soundtrack, that was really amazing. I never understood knot theory, and he was brilliant at explaining it. I really think I'd like to marry this guy and have little math theorem babies with him. Yesh.
Oh, and there were six of us knitting while he lectured on knots. I got really excited when I realized that knitting is just a trivial knot (up until the last stitch when you tie it off), and Sally humored my excitement in her inimitable way.
Sally and I trooped over to JMG after a bit of a debate on whether or not we wanted to go to the "Is gay marriage good for the nation?" debate. I really didn't feel up to being insulted by an asshat, but I was hoping that maybe there might be substantive issues discussed. I was only partially correct, and so, only partially disappointed. The gay marriage activist gave me a much better understanding of the legal benefits of marriage, and the "no" guy had an interesting political theory idea about inalienable rights coming from the Creator. He wasn't so clear on whether inalienable rights included marriage, but his shtick was that civil rights issues are about inalienable rights, which the government cannot bestow--they are inalienable. They are based in the Judeo-Islamo-Christian Creator. I'm sure I wasn't the only one who was squirming at his gross generalizations about "pagans", etc., but I have to say that I was impressed with his respectfulness and his intelligence. I still think he's an asshat, and I noticed that he didn't dare say anything about homosexuals having been abused as children and so "afraid of intimacy with the opposite sex", which I found on his website, but I was pleasantly surprised that he was not going to be a complete asshole. It was rather amusing; there was a policeman stationed at the back of the room in case things got out of hand. I need to think a lot more about his premise, which doesn't hold water legally in my opinion, but may yield some insights into the whole "is democracy (and liberal democracy, ie inalienable rights) just the product of a Western Judeo-Christian capitalist heritage, or is it a universal ideal?" This is one of those questions that may never be answered. He's one of those guys I just wanted to sit down with and talk details with for hours because he's intelligent, and I don't find many intelligent people arguing against gay marriage. On the other hand, we decided we weren't sure that we were glad he was intelligent, since it means it's harder to root out what he's really saying, and since you have to take him seriously. I think his premise is mostly bullshit, but he asks intriguing questions and raises intriguing issues. He's one of those people I can respect even when I think he's spouting complete nonsense. He didn't bring up the "schizophrenia" of gay people, either. Can't imagine why not. The hard thing to believe, though, is that he used to be a Unitarian. What went wrong? we asked each other. We lost him. What happened to him to change him so radically into a fundamentalist? Intelligent fundamentalists are scary, scary things; they know their stuff, and they're passionate, and if they're able to engage in calm equal debate they become even more dangerous. It's when we convince guys like these that the issue will truly be won; simple prejudice will die out when social mores change and the old ideas die with their believers, but intelligent belief will cling stubbornly, and the intelligent believer will have examined himself enough that his prejudices will be well hidden even from himself. This guy truly believes that gays are humans equal in dignity to himself, made in the image of God, who should be respected as people and for all intents and purposes treated like all others, but he believes that somewhere along the line the order of Creation was established to be God-Man-Woman and nothing else. Eighty-five percent of Americans support equal opportunity in the workplace for gays and lesbians; half of all Americans believe gay couples should be able to have the same rights as married couples; which means we're winning, but the opposition is getting more savvy.
But may I just say, the Massachusetts Supreme Court rocks.
*yawn* Wow, I should really get some sleep. Remember sleep? It's what you did before college.
It started out with chimney sweepers, went on to musings on the nature of prostitution versus the nature of exploitation. At lunch we were talking about a situation in highschool where a girl was the only one who got an A in her class, and it was because she didn't say anything when the prof touch her butt every time she handed something in. A firstie said she must have been a bit of a slut, then. I honestly thought she was kidding. I didn't think that those words could come out of somebody's mouth at Smith, at least not anyone I take seriously and don't actively dislike. So, that conversation was interesting. Heather had to hold up most of it, since I knew if I opened my mouth I'd regret it. I remember when I was supposed to flirt with the customers at the restaurant, cause it got me more tips. Why does it bother me more when people do it for grades? I guess because grades aren't supposed to be about that, while waitressing is, whether we acknowledge it or not. Appearance matters so much in human interactions. I'm not sure whether it should or not. Certainly we can't expect an underage girl to necessarily be strong and stand up to her prof taking advantage of a power relation in an inappropriate way; we'd like her too, but you can't expect that of everybody. I kept quiet about my alcoholic boss saying extremely inappropriate things and trying to touch me, because there were no other jobs near my grandparents' house and we needed the money. It also just never occurred to me. I knew I would quit if he tried anything, but it wasn't like there was anyone readily available for me to go to, to take care of the situation in a productive way. He owned the restaurant. There was no higher authority. Anyways, I know I've bought into the whole if-you-dress-like-that-if-you-look-like-that-you're-asking-for-it crap. Rationally I know it's horseshit, but I know I believe it on some level. It's the reason I'm fat; I bought into the lie that I somehow "deserved" to be raped, and so I made myself the exact opposite of what is accepted as sexually attractive. I don't expect I'll be able to change my weight without changing my bodyimage first, and to do that I have to accept that I will not automatically be raped (and also, taken more seriously as a human being, and given more promotions as an attractive ie thin person, etc.) if I lose weight. Which is going to be hard, because there's some truth in the lie. Rape has been so eroticized in our society that blaming the victim is often seen as perfectly reasonable. The truth is, I was right; few people have been interested in me since I gained most of the weight. I've made myself unattractive to both the dangerous people and the people who I might otherwise have some sort of interaction with.
Whoa. I totally didn't mean to go off on that tangent. On to math.
We had an awesome speaker at the math department tea today; he writes math humor. It was absolutely brilliant. He did another lecture after dinner (I love the math department: not only do they give us tea and pizza, they even have veggie pizza) on knot theory, complete with costumes and soundtrack, that was really amazing. I never understood knot theory, and he was brilliant at explaining it. I really think I'd like to marry this guy and have little math theorem babies with him. Yesh.
Oh, and there were six of us knitting while he lectured on knots. I got really excited when I realized that knitting is just a trivial knot (up until the last stitch when you tie it off), and Sally humored my excitement in her inimitable way.
Sally and I trooped over to JMG after a bit of a debate on whether or not we wanted to go to the "Is gay marriage good for the nation?" debate. I really didn't feel up to being insulted by an asshat, but I was hoping that maybe there might be substantive issues discussed. I was only partially correct, and so, only partially disappointed. The gay marriage activist gave me a much better understanding of the legal benefits of marriage, and the "no" guy had an interesting political theory idea about inalienable rights coming from the Creator. He wasn't so clear on whether inalienable rights included marriage, but his shtick was that civil rights issues are about inalienable rights, which the government cannot bestow--they are inalienable. They are based in the Judeo-Islamo-Christian Creator. I'm sure I wasn't the only one who was squirming at his gross generalizations about "pagans", etc., but I have to say that I was impressed with his respectfulness and his intelligence. I still think he's an asshat, and I noticed that he didn't dare say anything about homosexuals having been abused as children and so "afraid of intimacy with the opposite sex", which I found on his website, but I was pleasantly surprised that he was not going to be a complete asshole. It was rather amusing; there was a policeman stationed at the back of the room in case things got out of hand. I need to think a lot more about his premise, which doesn't hold water legally in my opinion, but may yield some insights into the whole "is democracy (and liberal democracy, ie inalienable rights) just the product of a Western Judeo-Christian capitalist heritage, or is it a universal ideal?" This is one of those questions that may never be answered. He's one of those guys I just wanted to sit down with and talk details with for hours because he's intelligent, and I don't find many intelligent people arguing against gay marriage. On the other hand, we decided we weren't sure that we were glad he was intelligent, since it means it's harder to root out what he's really saying, and since you have to take him seriously. I think his premise is mostly bullshit, but he asks intriguing questions and raises intriguing issues. He's one of those people I can respect even when I think he's spouting complete nonsense. He didn't bring up the "schizophrenia" of gay people, either. Can't imagine why not. The hard thing to believe, though, is that he used to be a Unitarian. What went wrong? we asked each other. We lost him. What happened to him to change him so radically into a fundamentalist? Intelligent fundamentalists are scary, scary things; they know their stuff, and they're passionate, and if they're able to engage in calm equal debate they become even more dangerous. It's when we convince guys like these that the issue will truly be won; simple prejudice will die out when social mores change and the old ideas die with their believers, but intelligent belief will cling stubbornly, and the intelligent believer will have examined himself enough that his prejudices will be well hidden even from himself. This guy truly believes that gays are humans equal in dignity to himself, made in the image of God, who should be respected as people and for all intents and purposes treated like all others, but he believes that somewhere along the line the order of Creation was established to be God-Man-Woman and nothing else. Eighty-five percent of Americans support equal opportunity in the workplace for gays and lesbians; half of all Americans believe gay couples should be able to have the same rights as married couples; which means we're winning, but the opposition is getting more savvy.
But may I just say, the Massachusetts Supreme Court rocks.
*yawn* Wow, I should really get some sleep. Remember sleep? It's what you did before college.
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(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-06 07:50 pm (UTC)Democracy actually emerged from the secular humanist movements of the enlightenment, and brought on by the social pressures of the industrial revolution. Even Thomas Jefferson was a diest. Democracy is not christian, it is human's attempt to organize groups too large to effectivly live together.
And there's what I say to that. :-)