(no subject)

[zana16]

*wince* So, I'm filling out an "Evil Villain" quizzie thing and read "If given the opportunity, would you take over the world?" So, I'm looking through the answers and see "Yes. That's phase 5 of my plan" and realize, oh Shite, I do have a plan (yes, in my PalmPilot), and actually, that is part 5 of the plan. I remember Jim Henle asking whether he should alert the authorities when Michiko and I were laying out this plan (two summers ago, at Henle's summer home, which is lovely by the way, and he's a great cook, so if he ever invites you to anything, say yes). I'd completely forgotten our plans for world domination! And they were such good ones, too. All peaceable and non-bloody and not fueled by taxpayer money. Damn my lack of ambition.

Comments

[mspeel4077.livejournal.com]

Jim Henle!

He is my idol -- slash, object of creepy obsession.

Misplaced me-update, part 1

[pashabird.livejournal.com]

I've totally forgotten how to post on my own LJ...and the interface seems to have changed. So you may want to delete this or move this or something...dunno. Anyway, major update on my life. Went to Christmas and New Year's at Aaron's parents', thought all was going well, then on the last day, they put me in the basement and told him that he had the option of going to UofM or South Dakota State and living in dorms, or being cut off financially. I told him he could come back to San Antonio with me, that rent's cheap so it'd be easier to make it there than what we've been doing here...he's scared of what would happen in that situation if he had a major problem with his diabetes and needed to go to the hospital and he didn't have health insurance...so he wasn't going for that. He wanted stability and school right away, and UofM isn't enrolling for this semester anymore, so he's going to be going to SDSU with his stepdad this semester. Semester starts tomorrow and that's when he's going in to apply/interview/register...um, yeah. On Sunday they were saying the reason was because he had too many distractions in Chicago, one of them being me, and that since IIT was a major investment that didn't pan out, they want to have greater influence over him when he goes back to school. Then on the drive over today, they told him that they think pretty much all of his problems are because of me, and that if I'd left Chicago then he couldn've stayed instead of both of us having to leave, and that they want him to cut off all contact with me. Apparently even though I was invited to Christmas by his mother, I wasn't supposed to be there and they were really upset with me that I was. He's not cutting off contact, but it's not gonna be as much as what we'd both wanted. Since he'll be going to school with his stepdad, he's gotta be able to keep his dorm room reasonably me-free. We don't know what's happening with Baby Moo yet. We're really afraid that she'll get given to some random person and she'll just sit under the bed waiting for one of us to go see her, but we'll never see her again. In a couple months I'll have an apartment and be able to take her, but by then it'll probably be too late. Aaron did the long-distance relationship thing before and doesn't want to do it again, except I'm not sure what's going on because we're still madly in love and will be keeping in contact. I guess he'll have the ability to have flings...don't know what else. So we're on pause for three or so years until he finishes school, at that point hopefully I'll have a good amount of savings and there'll be a market for CS/software development types so his parents can't control us with money again. Aaron wants to use this time to work on personal responsibility, telling the truth more, stuff that would generally benefit us. For some reason he thinks he can't learn to do things like that for himself if he's in a relationship though, because then he'd be doing all of it for me instead of himself. I'm not so sure I see a reason why doing it for me would be bad...it's still stuff getting done, and it's not like i'm gonna poof leave and then he wouldn't have a reason to do stuff anymore. Oh well...at least the plan is

Misplaced me-update, part 2

[pashabird.livejournal.com]

that some good will come of this crap. After Sunday, he could sort of understand his parents' position, but didn't understand the timing at all...now he's upset that they lied to him so much, and that there's still more to come, and that he's starting school bogged down with all their shit. He doesn't want to even think about all of it until spring break though, so I get to wait for the discussion of what's developing. I don't know if it will, but I'm really hoping this changes the way he sees his parents. Until now he thought his parents were awesome, that they were both honest and caring...they totally proved him wrong. I know part of not wanting to get engaged yet was things he had left to work out both with himself and between us, but a bigger part of it was wanting his parents to be happy for us instead of worried...turns out they really don't want us together at all so our last Christmas apart will probably be his last Christmas with them. I don't want him to have to choose between me and his parents though...just sucks too much for him because for so long he really respected and admired them, valued their opinion. And I want him to be able to have that kind of relationship with his parents, just not parents like these because their influence will be decietful and counterproductive to his live and our life together. I'd just started crocheting again over Christmas too. Started on a scarf and blanket for him. Was planning on making him sweaters, but apparently that's gonna have to wait at least until next fall when he transfers to UofM, maybe till he graduates. Don't want my creations to get him cut off from school funds. My plane for San Antonio leaves tomorrow afternoon. If I can get a short term loan from my father then I'll probably go to UTSA on Friday and attempt to re-enroll and register for a class...nothing serious, just something to be a student again. And I'll be looking for work...will be happy if I can put together 50-60 hour work weeks. There's a chance that once he's in Minnesota that he'll ask me to go up and get an apartment near the school, and I want to be in a position that if he asks I can go without problems. Really doubt that this'll happen in the next year, but there's always hope. And depending on how badly his parents screwed him over by doing this, he may be too upset with them to continue with their plan, or so upset in general that he can't focus and does badly at school, and then he'd come live with me in San Antonio. Would prefer the first way to the second. Want him back with me so much. The apartment was still home when all the furniture was gone...now that he's gone it's so empty. I'm really glad they made the business center in our building 24-hours because there's no internet in the apartment, and it would be a very bad idea for me to spend this many hours all alone and with no distractions. As much as I don't want to be living with my parents, I'm glad I won't be alone. Also gonna work on finding a place with roommates...if you can't figure out what you're doing after you graduate, you can come live with me. Aaron says he's really sorry he didn't get to meet you before this.

Misplaced me-update, part 3

[pashabird.livejournal.com]

Wondering if it's possible for me to enter a convent...have all of my living expenses cared for, have something to put on a resume after I leave, get to be around people but generally be left alone...sounds good to me. Something tells me I'm far more likely to wind up putting on a happy face and serving burgers and shakes at Sonic. Ugh, so much crap and my head's swimming. Mailed six boxes today, total $155, mailed my bicycle, also expensive, attempeted to mail my fairy wings, but the silly three pound package was so big that it woulda cost $73 to mail it alone...so now friends are trying to figure out how to get them back to me or Aaron. Still have to pack suitcases. Decide how much stuff to try to cram into them. I made Aaron a pumpkin pie last night, he forgot it this morning, so his friends have it now...not that I mind our friends eating my pie, but it was made with extra love for him and his bastard parents couldn't turn around when they were three minutes away to so he could get it, along with other stuff he left behind. They showed up at 5:30 pm Tuesday, they weren't supposed to be there until 7-8pm...and then they were upset that we weren't ready and all of our stuff hadn't been separated into piles of who's getting it. We didn't even get home until 5pm Monday, so it's not like we had all that much time. Had to terminate our lease, had to figure out what he wanted to do about school this semester, end our internet service, deal with all of the "us" stuff...the emotional stuff and the questions of who gets what when most of our stuff was just that, ours, and not his or mine. The stuff with sentimental values that are different to each of us, like a really soft blanket of his that I always associate with our bed, and that he remembers getting from his stepfather when he was in Bahrain. Right now it's with him, but with the new development he may not want any extra reminders of his parents...we'll see. For now it's just trying to figure out how to re-start our lives, something neither of us wanted to do, and certainly not on this short of notice. The only reason I'm even bothering to stay alive and live through this pain is because he wants me to. I'm in so much pain, don't know which way is up, have been totally scattered all day, don't expect tomorrow to be that much better. Have slept maybe 5 hours since we found out, am afraid to stop doing stuff long enough to sleep because it'll just make everything worse if it takes more than ten seconds to fall asleep. Don't have an alarm clock, so I'm afraid that if I do sleep, I'll miss my plane. Aaron was good and got me stocked with liquor, so now I get to deal with the joys of packing a bar, and then with the joys of trying to hide my stash from my parents. It's a good thing liquor has calories, becaus I haven't been able to stomach much else lately. Want to die, and therefore don't care much for the normal living things like eating and sleeping...not that I'll wind up starving to death, but I just can't make myself do things that last week weren't chores. So much more floating around in my head, but it's all such soup...maybe there'll be more later...for now I'm gonna go pack.

Re: Misplaced me-update, part 3

[zana16.livejournal.com]

Wow. *hugs* You can always come to Moose-achusetts, too. But I'm really glad you're going back to school. Your life plan had rather stalled. Call me anytime. I love you, always.