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Nov. 22nd, 2003 12:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zana16So, yesterday was False Confessions Day. All unknowing, I confessed my crush to another friend. Now I can tell her it was not true.
November 22 is Start Your Own Country Day. Now, room 211 of Talbot has been its own country for awhile, but Smith refuses to recognize this. They continue to threaten room inspections, which would desecrate my country and its holy shrine, my windowsill. Which reminds me, I forgot to water my plants. Like, for the last two weeks or so. Oops.
Very Secret Diary of Sylvia Planth, my philodendrum:
Day 1: Miss the plants at Target. Motion sickness riding in the bus. Is this a handbasket? Am I going to hell? Oh, it's just a laundry basket. *pause* Seem to have been chosen by a rather demented female.
Day 2: *glug* Demented female seems to feel I need lots of water. Am trying not to drown.
Day 5: New leaf! Whoo! Go me.
Day 11: My prettiest leaf got soiled today when d.f. decided to use my lovely pot as an incense holder.
Day 12: Seems to have become a habit with her. Fumes are making me strangely giddy.
Day 15: Bad news. My prettiest leaf was set afire today by the incense. *sob* D.f. seems strangely hysterical. Don't know why. 'Tisn't as if her limbs had gone up in flames.
Day 35: Demented female has remembered to water me. Keeps crying about someone named "Sylvester Graciela the Third". Feels oddly ominous.
Day 37: Have discovered that Sylvester Graciela was a previous plant. One of those snooty ivy plants. Wait. The Third?! I'm living with a plant murderer!
Day 47: Have sprouted three new leaves. D.f. is fascinated, keeps petting them. Seriously hope this woman never had pets.
Day 103: Have adjusted to a regular cycle of near-drownings and long periods of no watering. Could possibly become accustomed to this life.
Day 106: Cold! Dammit, I just get settled in and the female decides to take a trip. Can feel my leaflings freezing.
I'm not an outdoor plant, you bloody idiot!
Have suddenly remembered old Uncle Flax's stories about weathering the winter. Hope the female is not demented enough to plant me outside at this time of year?
Later
Perhaps female not so demented after all. Have been placed under her shirt. Leaflings complain about being crushed, but at least we're not freezing.
Day 107: I like this place! Lots of other plants, and am told there are only two weeks of winter here. Though Southern plants are unbearably stuck-up.
Day 121: Not-so-demented female has rescued me from these bloody Southern bell-flowers. Am home again with minor crushage. Visiting the relatives was rather fun. Am afraid I may have picked up a slight accent, however.
Day 243: Warm again. My first spring!
Day 249: What, moving again?
Day 251: Something dreadful has occurred. Female has been homeless for several days now. Thought I was living in Capen with a very nice bottle of vodka overlooking a Real Garden, but apparently am destined for somewhere called Parsons? Whilst moving, female dropped my pot down the stairs. Took a flying leap. Don't know why the birds are so bloody smug about being able to fly. Horrible. Splattered all over the bottom of the stairs. Female is panicking. Can't imagine why. Her guts aren't hanging out for the whole world to see. Am afraid will never live this down. Or perhaps just not live. I wonder what death is like?
Day 261: Will I never get any rest?
Day 264: Parsons seems a decent place. Except the female mine calls "roommate" keeps watching Lifetime movies. Make me bloody sick. No good root development, that's the problem with these humans.
Day 267: Keep getting my tendrils stuck in the door of the refrigerator. Otherwise, quite enjoy living on top of refrigerator.
Day 271: Have lost several tendrils. Wah. Oh plus side, the sentient bottle of soysauce has become my friend. He claims to actually be a bottle of prune juice. Right, and I'm a Lilliputian iris.
Day 355: Why will this bloody female insist on flying everywhere? Hate airports. The air clogs my leaf-pores.
Later
Have arrived, rather bedraggled, at the Southern relatives'. Nice old man has already watered me.
Day 361: Must admit regular watering is quite nice, but where is my pet female?
Day 457: Have spawned!
Day 607: Still no female. Nice old man does not pet me, and have seen deer eyeing me hungrily through the window. Why has demented female abandoned me?
Day 789: Have become a deep shade of green. Spawnling is growing nicely. Still no female.
Day 797: What is this wiggly black creature? Why is it trying to eat me? Old man keeps scolding it, but it keeps eating my nicest leaves. Bloody animal.
Day 804: The animal has utterly destroyed my friend Aloe Vera. We all mourn his passing.
Day 812: Female has not abandoned me! I am saved from the shaggy black creature!
Later
Traiterous bitch. She pets the black creature more than she pets me!
Day 834: Finally, demented female is taking me away from this place. Wonder where we're going now?
Day 835: Ooh, pretty home! Hope female will remember to water me. Old man spoiled me, I suppose.
Day 837: Have a brother! Rather high and mighty, for a young'un. Have told him stories of previous Sylvesters. Little ivy is quaking in his roots. Go me!
Day 845: Yay! Water! Had been getting worried there.
Day 847: New leaf! Go me!
November 22 is Start Your Own Country Day. Now, room 211 of Talbot has been its own country for awhile, but Smith refuses to recognize this. They continue to threaten room inspections, which would desecrate my country and its holy shrine, my windowsill. Which reminds me, I forgot to water my plants. Like, for the last two weeks or so. Oops.
Very Secret Diary of Sylvia Planth, my philodendrum:
Day 1: Miss the plants at Target. Motion sickness riding in the bus. Is this a handbasket? Am I going to hell? Oh, it's just a laundry basket. *pause* Seem to have been chosen by a rather demented female.
Day 2: *glug* Demented female seems to feel I need lots of water. Am trying not to drown.
Day 5: New leaf! Whoo! Go me.
Day 11: My prettiest leaf got soiled today when d.f. decided to use my lovely pot as an incense holder.
Day 12: Seems to have become a habit with her. Fumes are making me strangely giddy.
Day 15: Bad news. My prettiest leaf was set afire today by the incense. *sob* D.f. seems strangely hysterical. Don't know why. 'Tisn't as if her limbs had gone up in flames.
Day 35: Demented female has remembered to water me. Keeps crying about someone named "Sylvester Graciela the Third". Feels oddly ominous.
Day 37: Have discovered that Sylvester Graciela was a previous plant. One of those snooty ivy plants. Wait. The Third?! I'm living with a plant murderer!
Day 47: Have sprouted three new leaves. D.f. is fascinated, keeps petting them. Seriously hope this woman never had pets.
Day 103: Have adjusted to a regular cycle of near-drownings and long periods of no watering. Could possibly become accustomed to this life.
Day 106: Cold! Dammit, I just get settled in and the female decides to take a trip. Can feel my leaflings freezing.
I'm not an outdoor plant, you bloody idiot!
Have suddenly remembered old Uncle Flax's stories about weathering the winter. Hope the female is not demented enough to plant me outside at this time of year?
Later
Perhaps female not so demented after all. Have been placed under her shirt. Leaflings complain about being crushed, but at least we're not freezing.
Day 107: I like this place! Lots of other plants, and am told there are only two weeks of winter here. Though Southern plants are unbearably stuck-up.
Day 121: Not-so-demented female has rescued me from these bloody Southern bell-flowers. Am home again with minor crushage. Visiting the relatives was rather fun. Am afraid I may have picked up a slight accent, however.
Day 243: Warm again. My first spring!
Day 249: What, moving again?
Day 251: Something dreadful has occurred. Female has been homeless for several days now. Thought I was living in Capen with a very nice bottle of vodka overlooking a Real Garden, but apparently am destined for somewhere called Parsons? Whilst moving, female dropped my pot down the stairs. Took a flying leap. Don't know why the birds are so bloody smug about being able to fly. Horrible. Splattered all over the bottom of the stairs. Female is panicking. Can't imagine why. Her guts aren't hanging out for the whole world to see. Am afraid will never live this down. Or perhaps just not live. I wonder what death is like?
Day 261: Will I never get any rest?
Day 264: Parsons seems a decent place. Except the female mine calls "roommate" keeps watching Lifetime movies. Make me bloody sick. No good root development, that's the problem with these humans.
Day 267: Keep getting my tendrils stuck in the door of the refrigerator. Otherwise, quite enjoy living on top of refrigerator.
Day 271: Have lost several tendrils. Wah. Oh plus side, the sentient bottle of soysauce has become my friend. He claims to actually be a bottle of prune juice. Right, and I'm a Lilliputian iris.
Day 355: Why will this bloody female insist on flying everywhere? Hate airports. The air clogs my leaf-pores.
Later
Have arrived, rather bedraggled, at the Southern relatives'. Nice old man has already watered me.
Day 361: Must admit regular watering is quite nice, but where is my pet female?
Day 457: Have spawned!
Day 607: Still no female. Nice old man does not pet me, and have seen deer eyeing me hungrily through the window. Why has demented female abandoned me?
Day 789: Have become a deep shade of green. Spawnling is growing nicely. Still no female.
Day 797: What is this wiggly black creature? Why is it trying to eat me? Old man keeps scolding it, but it keeps eating my nicest leaves. Bloody animal.
Day 804: The animal has utterly destroyed my friend Aloe Vera. We all mourn his passing.
Day 812: Female has not abandoned me! I am saved from the shaggy black creature!
Later
Traiterous bitch. She pets the black creature more than she pets me!
Day 834: Finally, demented female is taking me away from this place. Wonder where we're going now?
Day 835: Ooh, pretty home! Hope female will remember to water me. Old man spoiled me, I suppose.
Day 837: Have a brother! Rather high and mighty, for a young'un. Have told him stories of previous Sylvesters. Little ivy is quaking in his roots. Go me!
Day 845: Yay! Water! Had been getting worried there.
Day 847: New leaf! Go me!
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(no subject)
Date: 2003-11-22 10:42 am (UTC)The Very Secret Diary of My Lavender Plant
Later
Okay, okay, windowsill not half bad.
Day 2: Is it really necessary to spill water everywhere like that?
Day 3: Uh-oh. That girl has figured out that I will look exactly the same dead as alive. My days are numbered.
Re: The Very Secret Diary of My Lavender Plant
Date: 2003-11-22 12:25 pm (UTC)