(no subject)

It was lovely going to the Center for Heart Jewel today. I'd been feeling a little lost, what with not having any time at all to practice this past weekend (I barely even managed going for refuge, and that's only like thirty seconds even if it is six times a day). The meditation tonight gave me time to process a lot of what's been swirling around in my head.

I was only about two minutes into the chanting when I had the same old thought that keeps recurring: why not become ordained? But finally, after more than a year of going back and forth about becoming a Buddhist nun (yes, I'm sure my f'list has whiplash about this by now), I finally have an answer! Or at least, an answer better than "But I really like sex and alcohol and I don't want to shave my head." Which was a perfectly good answer, but not the one I needed. The answer: underneath all the good intentions, really I would be becoming a nun to run away from life, not to live it. It would be cheating, and it would defeat the purpose. I've got to use Dharma to live for real, not in place of living.

Also there's the fact that if I became ordained, they wouldn't be all that happy with me pursuing other spiritual paths at the same time. So. No saffron robes for me. At least, not until it isn't running away.

I think the decision might actually stick this time.

Fandom shipping meme

gakked from isiscaughey (yes, like three weeks ago. I'm slow.)

List your 15 all time favorite pairings from your favorite fandoms.

Huh. I don't have good criteria for this at all. I'm going to go with favorite pairings within fandoms that I've read, not necessarily favorite fandoms or even what I read primarily within that fandom. For instance, Anne Shirley/Gilbert Blythe and Beatrice/Benedict are two of my favorite pairings of all time, but there isn't a fandom there so they aren't on this list. I read a lot more Jack/Ianto than the pairing below for Torchwood, but this is my favorite pairing. I don't know if fic even exists for #7 and #12, but I do read in those fandoms, and they are my favorite pairings there.

1. Bodie/Doyle - The Professionals
2. Logan/Veronica - Veronica Mars
3. Apollo/Starbuck - Battlestar Galactica, both versions
4. Rose/The Doctor (any iteration) - Doctor Who
5. Buffy/Spike - Buffy the Vampire Slayer
6. Hornblower/Kennedy - Horatio Hornblower (movieverse)
7. Hornblower/Barbara - Horatio Hornblower (bookverse)
8. Holmes/Watson - Sherlock Holmes
9. Merry/Pippin - Lord of the Rings
10. Legolas/Gimli - Lord of the Rings (bookverse)
11. Captain Jack Harkness/Captain Jack Harkness - Torchwood [there is only *one* fix-it fic for this pairing. People, this needs to change!]
12. Stephen Maturin/Diana Villiers - Master and Commander
13. Fin/John Munch - Law & Order: SVU
14. Mike Logan/Ben Stone - Law & Order mothership
15. Willow/Tara - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

A few of these are even canon! And het. Who knew?