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Soooo. You know how I said the other day that I couldn't bring myself to blatantly ignore guys who try to hit on me? Well, I tried it.
At first, it was so amazing. The guy came up to me while I was waiting for the bus (1 am in the morning, so it was a long wait) and I ignored him and he went away after observing "Elle ne reponde pas" and I was just like, no shit Sherlock, state the obvious. But every single guy I ignored said those same words. I'm just sitting there, on a guard rail, wearing my backpack on my front and my arms crossed over it and if there's body language that says "I don't want you to look at my body you objectifying freaks" better than I'm open to suggestions.
There was a guy who was also waiting for the bus, and he kept trying to talk to me. But he was doing the 'pssst' thing and I hate that more than anything so I pretended not to hear him.
Eventually, after forty-five minutes, I decide to just walk home. Sure it's late, sure I live in a sketchy part of Paris, but the sketchy part of Paris is almost as safe as the really nice parts of NYC. I'll run into a few prostitutes, that's all.
Yeah, now I'm disillusioned. No, no violence, no assaults; that I'm rather prepared to handle. But there was the guy who walked next to me for an ENTIRE CITY BLOCK saying "Quoi? Quoi?" in a hurt voice, as if I had ASKED him to hit on me and then get rejected. There are two more "Elle ne reponde pas" guys. There is a "Est-ce que vous etes raciste?" -- this question is really starting to get on my nerves. I don't choose to go out with guys off the street. I consider this common sense. Yes, six out of the seven of them were black, but I'd have said no to every single one even if they weren't. If I'm racist because I find very few black men my age attractive, then I guess I'll just have to be racist cause I don't have a lot of control over who I'm attracted to. Older black men I often find much more attractive. They also don't hit on me in the street, and I wouldn't say yes if they did.
But it gets sketchier. That guy from the bus stop? So I'm walking through the deserted marketplace by Jeanne d'Arc. A car stops, I'm beckoned over. I figure somebody needs directions and if not I do have my pocketknife and it's not like I'm gonna get in the car with him (I'm not that much of an idiot thank you) and handguns are illegal in Paris.
I don't recognize the guy at first, until he says "why weren't you talking to me back there? you ignored me for a half hour". Now personally, I'd think that this would give the guy a clue that I want him to FUCK OFF, but no. He expects me to get in the car with me. I give him my best rendition of a dying fish face, and hurry away, not wanting to say anything. He FOLLOWS me with his car.
I tell you, there are times I really would like to have a gun. Not loaded, not even functional, but just something to pull out and say "leave me the fuck alone, fucker. there are a zillion prostitutes out here; I on the other hand am wearing ratty sneakers and a Sorbonne shirt. And I ignored you for half an hour and just walked away from you again. Can we say get. a. clue?"
Honestly. Jovanna says it's flattering, but really. I'm not ugly, but I'm hardly femme. You think I WANT to look like this? What's the point of being eighty pounds overweight if it doesn't make people leave you the fuck alone? It's my coping mechanism to make sure I never get raped again and I hate that IT'S NOT WORKING.
Fuckers.
Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch.
:) All better now. I've been letting that fester too long.
At first, it was so amazing. The guy came up to me while I was waiting for the bus (1 am in the morning, so it was a long wait) and I ignored him and he went away after observing "Elle ne reponde pas" and I was just like, no shit Sherlock, state the obvious. But every single guy I ignored said those same words. I'm just sitting there, on a guard rail, wearing my backpack on my front and my arms crossed over it and if there's body language that says "I don't want you to look at my body you objectifying freaks" better than I'm open to suggestions.
There was a guy who was also waiting for the bus, and he kept trying to talk to me. But he was doing the 'pssst' thing and I hate that more than anything so I pretended not to hear him.
Eventually, after forty-five minutes, I decide to just walk home. Sure it's late, sure I live in a sketchy part of Paris, but the sketchy part of Paris is almost as safe as the really nice parts of NYC. I'll run into a few prostitutes, that's all.
Yeah, now I'm disillusioned. No, no violence, no assaults; that I'm rather prepared to handle. But there was the guy who walked next to me for an ENTIRE CITY BLOCK saying "Quoi? Quoi?" in a hurt voice, as if I had ASKED him to hit on me and then get rejected. There are two more "Elle ne reponde pas" guys. There is a "Est-ce que vous etes raciste?" -- this question is really starting to get on my nerves. I don't choose to go out with guys off the street. I consider this common sense. Yes, six out of the seven of them were black, but I'd have said no to every single one even if they weren't. If I'm racist because I find very few black men my age attractive, then I guess I'll just have to be racist cause I don't have a lot of control over who I'm attracted to. Older black men I often find much more attractive. They also don't hit on me in the street, and I wouldn't say yes if they did.
But it gets sketchier. That guy from the bus stop? So I'm walking through the deserted marketplace by Jeanne d'Arc. A car stops, I'm beckoned over. I figure somebody needs directions and if not I do have my pocketknife and it's not like I'm gonna get in the car with him (I'm not that much of an idiot thank you) and handguns are illegal in Paris.
I don't recognize the guy at first, until he says "why weren't you talking to me back there? you ignored me for a half hour". Now personally, I'd think that this would give the guy a clue that I want him to FUCK OFF, but no. He expects me to get in the car with me. I give him my best rendition of a dying fish face, and hurry away, not wanting to say anything. He FOLLOWS me with his car.
I tell you, there are times I really would like to have a gun. Not loaded, not even functional, but just something to pull out and say "leave me the fuck alone, fucker. there are a zillion prostitutes out here; I on the other hand am wearing ratty sneakers and a Sorbonne shirt. And I ignored you for half an hour and just walked away from you again. Can we say get. a. clue?"
Honestly. Jovanna says it's flattering, but really. I'm not ugly, but I'm hardly femme. You think I WANT to look like this? What's the point of being eighty pounds overweight if it doesn't make people leave you the fuck alone? It's my coping mechanism to make sure I never get raped again and I hate that IT'S NOT WORKING.
Fuckers.
Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch.
:) All better now. I've been letting that fester too long.
