worried....
Mar. 26th, 2003 02:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zana16God damn it I HATE the time change between here in the states. So worried but I can't call because it's the fekin' middle of the night there. Shit, sweetheart, you should have called yesterday.
Aside from having this knot of worry in the middle of my stomach, I don't have a lot of news. I think I did but I can't concentrate on it right now. Wish Axel would give me more mindless filing to do, because I'm pretty useless for the moment. There aren't a whole lot of people I love... Well, screw that, there are, but I guard their safety jealously. And there are very few people outside my immediate family that I love as unconditionally as I do her.
Yeah, I know, I'm a worrywart. I found that out in eighth grade the day Alicia told me she was pregnant. Or actually before that, when Kirsten's grandmother was dying. I worry because it seems so often that bad things happen to those I love.... I've gotten over the psychological block of "therefore I shouldn't love anybody cause then bad things will happen to them", but not past the worry. Most of the time this just means sleepless nights and then I can laugh at myself for overreacting. Dammit dammit dammit. I did this just last week when my grandparents went into the hospital.
Aside from having this knot of worry in the middle of my stomach, I don't have a lot of news. I think I did but I can't concentrate on it right now. Wish Axel would give me more mindless filing to do, because I'm pretty useless for the moment. There aren't a whole lot of people I love... Well, screw that, there are, but I guard their safety jealously. And there are very few people outside my immediate family that I love as unconditionally as I do her.
Yeah, I know, I'm a worrywart. I found that out in eighth grade the day Alicia told me she was pregnant. Or actually before that, when Kirsten's grandmother was dying. I worry because it seems so often that bad things happen to those I love.... I've gotten over the psychological block of "therefore I shouldn't love anybody cause then bad things will happen to them", but not past the worry. Most of the time this just means sleepless nights and then I can laugh at myself for overreacting. Dammit dammit dammit. I did this just last week when my grandparents went into the hospital.
better, a little
Date: 2003-03-26 10:05 am (UTC)