Hobbit movie recs

[zana16]

Hey look! I will do something vaguely fannish. I will rec some good fic.

This fandom, people. 90% of the fans are all about the Bilbo/Thorin, and I just cannot. I have bounced hard off of fandom's OTPs before, but never to this extent. Also I will read Fili/Kili, it doesn't trip my incest squick for some reason, but it is all fluff or really REALLY bad angst. Or both. (Actually it's the both that worries me.) This means that a sizable portion of the fic is not my style. Thank goodness, actually, because this is a truly massive fandom.


PAIRINGS

DWALIN AND BOFUR. There is a reason that my story is about these two. I will read them with practically anybody, since almost nobody else writes the two of them together (which I understand; it took me 22K words to get them to kiss.)

Dwalin/Thorin, Dwalin/Nori, and Dwalin/Ori are my favorite Dwalin pairings, in that order. I think the first one is the hottest and the last one is the cutest. Dwalin/Ori does tend to get into exaggerations of Dwalin being three times Ori's size or some such nonsense, and if I never read another fic in which Dwalin saves Ori yet again from being raped I will be a happier fangirl. Ugh. Warrior/scholar pairings, yes I know it's a trope -- but seriously. Ori is a fucking dwarf on a fucking quest to kill a fucking dragon -- Thorin wouldn't let him come if he weren't capable of taking care of himself.

Bofur/Bilbo is a favorite. Much as I love Nori, I do not get Bofur/Nori. Other than Dwalin, I don't actually ship Bofur with anyone else.

Other dwarves who are my favorites:

1) Nori. NoriNoriNori. Sadly, Nori gets like one speaking line in the movie. We know that his moviecanon backstory is he's a shady character, and I love the fanon that's sprung up around him. (I also love that I contributed in a small way to that fanon with a throwaway line about Thorin giving Nori a choice between going to prison and going on the quest.)

2) Bifur. There is no good Bifur fic. It is all angsty fic about him being horribly disabled by the axe in his head, and good lord why can't anyone give him a happy ending for once? (I should mention that I am also guilty of writing angsty fic about Bifur.)

3) Dori. Also very little good fic about Dori. C'mon, he has the biggest crush on Gandalf! Also I have some cracky headcanon about Dori.

4) Bombur. There is no Bombur fic. FML.

5) Oin. There is no Oin fic. Poor Oin.

Is anybody surprised that it's the minor characters I love the most? No? Moving on.


FIC RECS

These are mostly works in progress. Yes, the book has been out for 80-plus years, but the hot dwarves only hit the screens two months ago. Give us time.


The Toymaker and the Widow (90011 words) by cellotlix
Chapters: 18/?
Fandom: The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (2012), TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Bofur, Bilbo - Character, Bifur, Bombur, Thorin, Fíli, Kíli, Ori - Character, Gandalf
Additional Tags: Original Character(s), Adventure, Romance
Summary:

"He whittles for the widow and her child; his sweet, sad widow," said Bombur smugly. "How is she his widow if he's still alive?" Bilbo wondered. "Because she's not my widow," Bofur cut in. "She's a widow. I have no claim to her, or anyone."

This is far and away my favorite fic in the fandom. And it's gen/het, with an OC who manages to not be a Mary Sue by some miracle of quite good writing. It's a bit uneven in places, but it is beautiful.

***

Boon Companions (73687 words) by Quasar
Chapters: 26/?
Fandom: The Hobbit - All Media Types, TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Bofur, Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins/Ori, Bilbo Baggins/Fíli/Kíli, Bilbo Baggins/Dwalin, Legolas/Tauriel/Other
Characters: Bilbo Baggins, Gandalf, Bofur, Thorin Oakenshield
Additional Tags: Missing Scene, Queer Themes, Interspecies
Summary:

"I can honestly say that I have told you the truth, but I may not have told you all of it." There were parts of his journey that Bilbo never included in the book he shared with Frodo, but they included some of his favourite bits of the grand adventure.

I love the worldbuilding in this one. Dwarves bond through sex; as Bilbo is adopted by the rest of the company, he learns about how to be a dwarf. Also I love the gender bits of this; not all of the dwarves are male.

***

Dirty Deeds (Done Dirt Cheap) (48854 words) by greenkangaroo
Chapters: 58/?
Fandom: The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings - Fandom, Tolkien - Fandom
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Nori/Dwalin, Nori/Money, Nori/I don't even know, nori/all of middle earth, yes let's go with that
Characters: Nori, Dori, Ori - Character, Dwalin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Óin, Glóin, Thorin Oakenshield, Fíli, Kíli, Bilbo Baggins, I really just wanted to type out all their names
Additional Tags: sketchy dealings, sibling feels, References to Canonical Character Death, nasty underhanded things, Murder, mayhem, a touch of crossdressing, all those things you deal with, when you're running an intelligence network under a mountain, chapter 12 has mpreg/weird twisty gender preg, chapter 58 contains mentions of incest, so skip those if you don't wanna deal, it's cool
Summary:

A series of short generally unrelated fics revolving around Nori the dwarf, who is always up to something- something shady, questionable, morally ambiguous and most probably illegal.

The fic that made me love Nori. Almost every chapter is a short, some related but most stand-alone. Nori is awesome, you guys. And he totally loves Dwalin even if they keep trying to kill each other.

***

Lessons In Dwarven Culture (61737 words) by hobbitdragon
Chapters: 11/?
Fandom: The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types, Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, Lord of the Rings (Movies), Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Bofur, Bilbo Baggins/Dwalin, Bilbo Baggins/Fíli, Bilbo Baggins/Kíli, Bilbo Baggins/Nori, Bilbo Baggins/Óin, Bilbo Baggins/Ori, Bilbo Baggins/Fili/Dwalin, Gandalf/Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Dwalin/Thorin Oakenshield, Bofur/Bilbo Baggins/Nori, Bofur/Bilbo Baggins/Ori, Dori/Gandalf
Characters: Bilbo Baggins, Gandalf, Thorin Oakenshield, Bofur, Kíli, Fíli, Dwalin, Nori, Ori - Character, Dori, Balin
Additional Tags: Multiple Partners, Multiple Pairings, Hobbit Sluts, Casual Sex, Anal Sex, Anal, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M, Size Difference, Size Kink, Temperature Play, Wizard Powers, Gender Issues, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Cultural Differences, Mind Reading, Telepathy, Shame, cissexism, Dwarves - Freeform, Power Dynamics, Flirting, Stone Top, Painplay, Queer Themes, Queer Culture, Fisting, Squirting, D/s, Dominance, Service Submission, Service Top, Eye Contact, Dirty Talk, Courtship, Kissing, First Kiss, Trans Female Character, Threats, Dysphoria, Polyamory, Homophobia, Transphobia, Characters with histories of trauma, Sex Work
Summary:

When Bilbo ran out his door, he expected a merry adventure, there and back again. He expected the world to be a much smaller place, with much less in it. He expected himself to stay a respectable Baggins of Bag End.

This is another Bilbo-sleeps-with-a-lot-dwarves fic. Oin, even! I'd forgotten that. The reason this one is fascinating is that dwarf gender and dwarf genitalia have only a passing correlation. Thorin is, for back of a better word, a trans man.

If I have any quibbles with this fic, it's that at times in later chapters it feels like the author is trying to impose a queer/trans/poly/kink-friendliness that's pretty specific to our culture onto Middle Earth dwarf culture, and it isn't always believable. But the world-building is awesome. I stopped reading when the kink got too heavy for my tastes; ymmv.


So. That was fun.